Should I Avoid Temptation Situations?

I have been direct in my advice so far and would ask you to treat this advice as instruction rather than suggestion. I am explicit and direct, first because there are sound, practical reasons for my advice and second, because those reasons have been backed up by thousands of case studies. On the question of whether or not to try to avoid temptation during the withdrawal period, I regret that I cannot be direct. Each PMOer will need to decide for himself. I can, however, make what I hope will be helpful suggestions, I repeat that it is fear that keeps us to PMO all our lives and this fear consists of two distinct phases:

Phase 1: How can I survive without PMO?

This fear is that panicky feeling the PMOer gets when they are alone in a single phase or have an asexual, uninterested or unavailable partner. The fear isn’t caused by withdrawal pangs but is the psychological fear of dependency - you cannot survive without sex and orgasm. It actually reaches its height when you are on the verge of quitting (I won’t use giving up); at that time your withdrawal pangs are at their lowest. It is the fear of the unknown, the sort of fear that people have when they are learning to dive.

The diving board is 1 foot high but seems to be 6 feet high. The water is 6 feet deep but appears to be 1 foot deep. It takes courage to launch yourself. You are convinced you are going to smash your head. The launching is the hardest part. If you can find the courage to do it, the rest is easy. This explains why many otherwise strong-willed PMOers either have never attempted to stop or can survive only a few days when they do. In fact, there are some PMOers on a porn diet who when they decide to stop, actually binge and escalate to harsher clips more quickly than if they had not decided to stop. The decision causes panic, which is stressful. This is one of the occasions when the brain triggers the instruction, “take a trip to your own personal harem.” But now you can’t take one. You are being deprived - more stress.

The trigger starts again quickly when the fuse blows and you fire up the browser. Don’t worry. That panic is just psychological. It is the fear that you are dependent. The beautiful truth is that you are not, even when you are still addicted. Do not panic. Just trust me and launch yourself.

Phase 2: Longer Term Fear

The second phase of fear is longer-term. It involves the fear that certain situations in the future will not be enjoyable or that you will not be able to cope with a trauma without PMO. Don’t worry. If you can launch yourself you will find the opposite to be the case. The avoidance of temptation itself falls into two main categories:

  1. “I will subscribe to a porn-diet of once in 4 days. I will feel more confident knowing that I can go online if it gets hard. It is OK if I fail I can just add up additional days to my next cycle.”

I find the failure rate with people who do this is far higher than for people who just quit altogether. I believe this is due mainly to the fact that if you have a bad moment during the withdrawal period, it is easy to hop on your browser and visit your harem with the above excuses. If you have the indignity of clearly breaking your own rules such as a shattered glass window, you are more likely to overcome the temptation. In any event, the pang will probably have passed if you had delayed it. However, I believe the main reason for the higher failure rate in these cases is that the PMOer does not feel completely committed to stopping in the first place. Remember the two essentials to succeed are:

  • Certainty.
  • “Isn’t it marvellous that I do not need to PMO any more?”

In either case, why on earth do you need PMO? If you still feel the need to visit your harem, I would suggest that you re-read this book first. It means that something hasn’t quite gelled. Take the time to kill without trace the big monster in your mind.

  1. “Should I avoid stressful or social occasions during the withdrawal period?”

My advice is: yes, try to avoid stressful situations. There is no sense in putting undue pressure on yourself. In the case of social events - to a bar or dance floor - my advice is the reverse. No, go out and enjoy yourself straight away. You do not need sex - the propagative side of sex - even while you are still addicted to porn. Go to a party and rejoice in the fact that you do not have to have sex and propagative sex. It will quickly prove to you the beautiful truth that life is so much better without the pressure of sex. Just think how much better it will be when the little monster has left you, together with all those needy thoughts.