03-19 It Relaxes Me and Gives Me Confidence

It Relaxes Me and Gives Me Confidence

This is the worst fallacy of all about PMOing and for me it ranks with the ending of the slavery, the greatest benefit from quitting - is not to have to go through life with the permanent feelings of insecurity that PMOers suffer from.

PMOers find it very difficult to believe that masturbation to internet porn actually causes those insecure feelings you get when you are out late at night after a contentious day at home or work. Non-PMOers do not suffer from that feeling. It is the porn that causes it. I only became aware of many of the advantages of stopping months afterwards, as a result of my consultations with other PMOers.

I refused to see my PMO as causing so much of the mental tug of war in my mind that I am foolishly working hard to have nominal levels of confidence in my day to day life. Forget about getting an erection, I am talking about focusing, taking challenges, fighting, choosing, deciding - actions that define our lives. Especially when we are often forced to act when the facts are not clear. Come to think of it, facts were and will never be clear and hence it is to our great advantage anyway to act.

Also of note is in dating area as well, the fire to go forward is being misappropriated to this ‘high reward zero pain’ porn. If you have read some top PUA books and forums, what do they say? Go on a ‘diet¹’? Yes of course when you have the good hunger your internal juices and your brain will do the rest. Copping out is not an option at all. Playing the numbers is not tiresome by no means. All PUA advice in a nut-shell is this - try more numbers. Even if your approach is wrong you will be right twice a day like a broken clock. But if your mind is fighting a tug of war with effortless easy access to a harem of online women, how would you get back on your feet when that girl ignores you? Oh, if it was a public outright rejection I am running, not walking, to my porn girlfriend.

For a long time, before YBOP and Gary’s articles, none of these things did I relate to my PMOing ‘habit’ but getting off it has been like awakening from a bad dream. Nowadays I look forward to each day. Of course, bad things still happen in my life, and I am subject to normal stresses and strains but it is wonderful to have the confidence to cope with them, and extra health, energy and confidence make the good times more enjoyable too.