03-07 Brainwashing and the Primitive Mechanism

Brainwashing and the Primitive Mechanism

How or why do we start PMOing in the first place? To understand this fully you need to examine the powerful effect of the supernormal stimulus. We all tend to think we are intelligent, dominant human beings determining our paths through life. We act and act frequently when our brain reward circuit are rewarded. Nobel laureate Nikolaas Tinbergen coined the term “supranormal stimulus.” He said mammals could be tricked into preferring fake eggs and mates. Female birds, for example, struggled to sit on larger-than life, vividly spotted plaster eggs while their own pale, dappled eggs perished untended.

The stimulation here in internet porn is not it brings stimulating actors and themes to your home - it is a genie at your bidding to create a harem in your mind. You can switch between genres and theme, home-made and viewer rated, commented and discussed, so rapid and so easy. We absolutely are not ready for the high speed internet porn and our brains are not designed to handle this supranormal stimuli.

We can have an ‘information overload’ from the same internet but our reward circuits are not going to squirt dopamine at the levels when ‘porn overload’ is involved. We are evolutionarily programmed to seek and access sex related stuff. And we wrongly appraise the stimulus mostly based on this reward circuit action. If all you wanted is to masturbate why can’t you just use one clip and get the business done?

Here is another question - next time after a long day or some stressful incident can you consciously embellish your self-talk with “Do you know what I would really enjoy today? The marvellous warm glow of dopamine rush going to my online harem.” You will find that even people who dislike PMO will join you.

Past Misguided Advice

There was much misguided advice given in the past and one is that masturbating will lead to blindness. And there are some other scare tactics that clearly over-did it. It is right that those notions were overthrown by science. But now the mainstream threw the baby out with the bath water. TV programs, pop music, literature and movies all subtly show shambolic characters using porn or masturbation. They knowingly or unknowingly mix porn, sex, internet porn, masturbation and orgasm.

From our earliest years our subconscious minds are bombarded daily with information telling us that sex is good and that the most precious thing on this earth is to ‘achieve’ orgasm. Girls are taught to achieve it and claim it’s because they were wrongly suppressed of their sexual side for a very long time and still are. You think I exaggerate? Watch any TV or movie plot and you will see the mix-up of the amative (touch, smell, voice etc.) and the propagative (orgasmic) sides of sex. The impact of this does not register on our conscious minds but the sleeping partner, the subconscious mind, has time to absorb it. What the message is really saying is, “The most precious thing on this earth, my last thought and action, will be the goal of orgasm.” If you don’t have an orgasm then you are an old man with zero libido.

Our children are being bombarded by sex and porn clips and many don’t even know how to protect them from it all. Large hoardings and magazine adverts are loaded with sexual innuendo. Some of the pop videos are extremely suggestive - again they hide behind free speech. Don’t be vexed and feel powerless about it. Make it a game and find you which of the components they are using - is it novelty, shock value, color, size, taboo etc. If the kids are pre-teen some of these can be disclosed to them and it would make an excellent show-and-tell game.

A while back there was a wave of ‘leaked’ private videos of celebrities on the internet. If the youngster is too smitten by their favourite star, even if the conscious mind blames the ‘leak’ on the blood thirsty internet paparazzi, the ‘sleeping partner’ is patiently digesting the notion that, “yes, even my shambolic hero does it and if I don’t, I won’t look the part.”

The Scientific Reasoning

True, there is publicity the other way - the PIED scares, the loss of motivation, preferring virtual porn to real girls, YBOP¹, Reboot² forums, underground PUA³, the no FAP movement - but these do not actually stop people PMOing. Logically they should, but the fact is they do not. They would not even prevent youngsters from starting no matter how much the YBOP guys try. All the years that I remained a PMOer, I can honestly say, even if I had read all of them before, I would never have become a quitter. The truth is that it doesn’t make the slightest bit of difference. The trap is the same today as when you fell into it.

Ironically, the most powerful force in this melee of confusion is the PMOer himself. It is a fallacy that they are weak-willed or are physically weak specimens. You have to be physically strong in order to cope with an addiction after you know it is. This is one of the reasons why PMOers refuse to accept the overwhelming statistics that prove that internet porn with its ‘novelty’ cripples your brain. Add to that the sexologists who are doing half-baked studies and declare PMO is not an issue - they just help to add to the confusion.

Everyone knows a friend who PMOed every day - he started with the ‘static’ to internet porn, always horny in real life, chasing girls and you never doubted him to have sex problems of course. You want to believe him. He never complained about any ED right? Guys and girls like them refuse even to consider the hundreds of ex-addicts and non-PMOers who painfully recount their difficulties. It is the “little monster” brain chemical addiction and the “big monster” - illusions and delusions. In this hackbook, I’ve put together almost all the sorts of brainwashing a PMOer can suffer from. There will always be a few out there that I haven’t touched upon.

Even more painful is they think of themselves as unsuccessful losers and insufferable introverts. A possible fact is that a PMO friend could have been more interesting in person if he hadn’t put himself down for seeking self-pleasure.

If you do a small survey among your online forum members, friends and colleagues, you will find that most PMOers are, in fact, strong-willed people. They tend to be self-employed, business executives or in certain specialized professions, such as doctors⁴, lawyers, policemen, teachers, salesmen, nurses, secretaries, housewives with children, etc. In other words, anybody leading a stressful existence. Yes, I did include women and mothers. It’s the brain and it’s the same for them too. The main delusion of the PMOer is that porn helps to masturbate to orgasm and that relieves stress. This tends to be associated with the dominant type, the type that takes on responsibility and stress and, of course, that is the type that we admire and therefore tend to copy. Another group that tends to get hooked are people in monotonous jobs because the other main reason for PMOing is boredom. However, the idea that internet porn relieves boredom is also an illusion, I am afraid.

As a society we get all uptight about glue-sniffing, heroin addiction, etc. Actual deaths from glue-sniffing do not amount to ten per annum, and deaths from heroin are less than a hundred a year in this country. There is another drug, internet porn, on which over 45 per cent of us become hooked at some time in our lives and the majority spend the rest of their lives regretting it. Some even don’t know that their ED is due to this.

The Willpower Method

PMOers who quit using the Willpower method blame their own lack of willpower and ruin their peace and happiness. It is one thing to fail in self-discipline and another to self-loathe. There is no law that requires you to get fully hard all the time before sex, and to be properly aroused, and that you must be able to satisfy a woman. We are working on an addiction and not a habit. Habit is something you like to do- for example, golf - at no point you are arguing with yourself to stop golfing? But you do so with your porn addiction. The real question is: why?

Constant exposure to internet porn re-wires your brain. You need to start building resistance to this brainwashing, just as if you were buying a car from a second-hand car dealer. You would be nodding politely but you would not believe a word the man was saying. So don’t believe everything they say either - that you must have sex as much as you can and you must have it exceptional good. And that in the absence of real sex you claim it by the substitute called internet porn - which is only a component of the good old porn.

And don’t play ‘safe’ porn game either - because your “little porn monster” invented that scheme to lure you. Even the content - ‘amateur’? Really? Is there a certification authority that certifies it? Tube sites and porn producers gather site visitor profiles and cater to their needs. If they see a trend in crowd sourced collection of a particular genre they will focus on that and get content out ASAP. The statistics of what genre users like is collected to the level of how long and which portion the users were preferring. Do not be fooled by their educational intent or the safe female oriented clips (for you ladies). Start asking yourself:

• Why am I doing it?
• Do I really need to?

NO, OF COURSE YOU DON’T.

I find this brainwashing aspect the most difficult of all to explain. Why is it that an otherwise rational, intelligent human being becomes a complete imbecile about his own addiction? It pains me to confess that out of the thousands of people that I have assisted in kicking the habit, I (not Allen Carr) was the biggest idiot of all.

At the age of thirteen, although I was doing well at school and games, I was still an insufferable introvert. I read books from the library that were not within my main study list. However, I can see that I was attracted to erotica. I started masturbating to TV programs, song and dance sequences etc. I must have to have it every day. The tired feeling I felt was misappropriated by my ‘little porn monster’ as work stress. I didn’t know my “I-must-masturbate-as-I-am-entitled” attitude was the one that created the ‘stress’ in the first place. Then I got pictures and GIFs via email on my laptop - the first step towards electronic porn. The colour and texture of the images were amazing for me at that time - won’t be now for sure. Then came dial-up but still they were predominantly static pictures. Then came downloadable videos. It’s a pain to download and watch now - but it was heaven sent then as we were coming out of the static porn era! Oh, the streaming tube sites haven’t arrived yet.

When Real Sex Is Not Enough Anymore

I even remember opening up my laptop after having real sex (an activity I did due to stress induced by my own irrational rigid self demands to make her orgasm) and I was wanting more. Obviously the prospect of orgasm providing fulfilment rarely happens after prolonged porn use. So, my mind was reaching out to porn.

At the age of forty, I was visiting my online harem daily, drinking ‘socially’ (whatever that means) and smoking ‘sometimes’ but not so often. I had wrongly subscribed to misguided ideas of ‘moderation’ and ‘entitlement’. I had reached the stage where I couldn’t get through a single day without reaching out to porn in the night. With most PMOers, the triggers are the normal stresses of life, like answering the telephone or socializing.

When I experienced PIED - I knew it was killing my virility. There was no way I could kid myself otherwise. I am smart enough not to ‘project’ the porn fantasies on to real life. But it was like pacifying a dog straining at its leash. But why I couldn’t see what it was doing to me mentally, I could not understand. It was almost jumping up and biting me on the nose. The ridiculous thing is that most PMOers suffer the delusion at some time in their life that they enjoy internet porn because it is ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’. I never suffered that delusion, I PMOed because I thought enjoying sex is a ‘birthright’ and I am only doing a normal thing.

Since it was easier at most times for me to get internet porn than a partner I thought I am doing the normal thing. Now I am a non-PMOer, the most difficult part is trying to believe that those days actually happened. It’s like awakening from a nightmare and that is about the size of it. Internet porn is a supranormal drug. It is weakening your de-stressing mechanisms, your virility and your energy. The worst aspect of PMO isn’t the injury to your health or manliness, it is the warping of the mind. You search for any plausible excuse to go on.

I remember at one stage switching to static images, a failed attempt to cut down on internet porn, in the belief that it was less harmful and I could reign in my ‘habit’. I failed to see the ‘novelty’ and the ‘shock’ demands from my ‘little monster’ to just get more dopamine. Did I ‘stay’ within my boundaries? I ‘favorited’ 2 dimensional photos and my harem collection saw pictures and videos of ‘mild’ type porn rotating in and out like musical chair. When their ‘music’ stopped they ‘exited’. I didn’t understand the novelty-seeking, shock-seeking nature of my brain.

PIED And My Excuses

Once I figured I had PIED, as it had occurred multiple times with two different partners, I switched to more and more sophisticated masturbation. I practised with different artificial vaginas. They are sold as strength training. However, the combo of internet porn and toys needs deft hands, which is off-putting. Besides, by this time I was at the stage of orgasming with a limp member. All I wanted is an orgasm so I did not care about arousal, getting hard and all that. I had a long distance married girlfriend - who likes to share and talk about her sex life in very explicit manner. It turned me on so much that I’d masturbate to orgasm when I am on the phone with her. She knew it and would play with me by cutting off abruptly - to keep me hanging there - making me wanting more when she calls the next time. She had no trouble because I was fully willing to be the subject of playing such games, as long as it led to orgasm. A girl knows when a guy is seeking orgasm and it is his only goal. The only redeeming factor about me was my intelligence and empathy which kept her and my other partners coming back to me.

Most PMOers swear that they only watch static and soft porn and so they are OK. They are actually straining at the leash and thus fighting with their willpower to resist temptations. If they do this too often and for too long they will debit their willpower considerably and fail in other life projects where willpower is of much great value, like in daily exercise, dieting etc. Continuous failure in those areas will make them feel miserable and guilty and very soon they will find themselves back to their entitled relief. If not, they will vent their anger and depression onto their loved ones.

The answer is that once you have become addicted to internet porn, the brainwashing is increased. Your subconscious mind knows that the little monster has to be fed and you block everything else from your mind. As I have already stated, it is fear that keeps people quitting, the fear of that empty, insecure feeling that you get when you stop supplying the brain with dopamine flooding. Just because you are not aware of it doesn’t mean it isn’t there. You don’t have to understand it any more than a cat needs to understand where the under-floor hot-water pipes are. It just knows that if it sits in a certain place it gets the feeling of warmth.

The Passivity Of Our Mind

It is the passivity of our minds and dependency on authority leading to brainwashing that is the main difficulty in giving up PMO. The brainwashing of our upbringing in society reinforced with the brainwashing from our own addiction and, most powerful of all, the brainwashing of our friends, relatives and colleagues. Did you notice that up to now I’ve frequently referred to ‘giving up’ PMO, I used the expression at the beginning of the previous paragraph. This is a classic example of the brainwashing. The expression implies a genuine sacrifice. The beautiful truth is that there is absolutely nothing to give up. On the contrary, you will be freeing yourself from a terrible disease and achieving marvellous positive gains. We are going to start removing this brainwashing now. From this point on, no longer will we refer to ‘giving up’, but to stopping, quitting or the true position: ESCAPING!

The only thing that persuades us to PMO in the first place is all the other people doing it. We feel we are missing out. We work so hard to become hooked, yet nobody ever finds out what they have been missing. But every time we see another new video clip it reassures us that there must be something in it, otherwise people wouldn’t be doing it - and it wouldn’t be such big business all over the world. Even when he has kicked the habit, the ex-PMOer feels he is being deprived when a discussion on a sexy entertainer, singer or even a porn star comes up at a party or other social function. She or he must be good to have all my friends talk about them, no? Do they have ‘hot’ pictures of her in my tube site? He feels safe. He can have just one ‘peek’ that night. And, before he knows it, he is hooked again.

This brainwashing is extremely powerful and you need to be aware of its effects. I have heard scare stories about wicked men giving heroin mixed candies to kids at schoolyards. The concept of addiction and being compelled to go on taking the drug, filled me with horror. Even to this day, in spite of the fact that I am fairly convinced that ‘pot’ is not addictive, I would not dare take one puff of marijuana. How ironic that I should have ended up a porn junky. Technology will continue to grow and we will have even faster tube sites and more faster access methods. The industry is investing millions in Virtual Reality so it will become the next best thing. The point is, do we know where we are going? Are we equipped with an under armour of defence so we can enjoy the benefits of technology yet at the same time protect ourselves from its bad effects?

We are about to remove the brainwashing. It is not the non-PMOer who is being deprived but the poor user who is forfeiting a lifetime of:

• HEALTH
• ENERGY
• WEALTH
• PEACE OF MIND
• CONFIDENCE
• COURAGE
• SELF-RESPECT
• HAPPINESS
• FREEDOM

And what does he gain from these considerable sacrifices? ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! Except the illusion of trying to get back to the state of peace, tranquillity and confidence that the non-PMOer enjoys all the time.